So, I think this may be the most tasteless thing I've ever done, and considering my single most popular tumblr post suggests Gaston gets together with a 7-year-old girl, that's saying something:
When I mentioned the idea for this mashup to my loyal peanut gallery, Dad said
"If only Disney had explicitly explored the tobacco industry side of the colonization of the Americas."
...and my little sister said
"But instead of AIDS, it's smallpox?"