#1
Whenever I say the word "Renaissance," I am about 100 times more likely to mean this:
than this:
#2
When John Smith evasively tells Ratcliffe that he was "out scouting the terrain, sir..."
Disney Villains Fall Victim to "Gravity" (feat John Mayer)
This just seemed too perfect--I can't believe no one has done it before!
Did you notice that when Gaston is falling, at the closeup of his eyes his pupils turn into little skulls for two frames?
Today In Disney-Related Pet Peeves
So, there's this YouTube ad that is playing before practically everything for me, from some financial planning group^ and it's laying it on super thick about what a devoted Dad this guy is and so of course he uses this particular mutual fund because OF COURSE. But they open the ad with this line as to how his life revolves around his daughters:
"I know the name of eight princesses..."
WELL THEN, let's check out Mr. Father of the Year over here! Mr. Shill-For-Some-Mutual-Fund knows the name of EIGHT princesses!! What rapt attention he must pay to every aspect of his daughter's lives and interests, and how involved he must be to know the names of eight whole princesses!!
Ahem:
- 1) Snow White
- 2) Cinderella
- 3) Aurora
Why Is The Pocahontas Redesign So Creepy?
So, I'm a little late to the party in pointing out that the 2013 redesign of the official Disney Princess line is totally the worst thing ever:
Really--is it too much to ask to just have screen-accurate costumes and facial features?! It's not like we don't all own the movies, and can easily verify what these women look like and what they wear.
More pixels than I can count have already been devoted to the multitudes of aesthetic and sociological fails represented by that image: the whitewashing, blingification, blatant consumerism, and a femininity so stifling and oppressive it's like trying to breathe in a roomful of your great-great-aunt's gardenia perfume. And the sparkles. Dear fucking god, so many goddamn sparkles!
So I'll just agree with all of that and move on to a point that is a lot less consequential but has nonetheless been bugging me and I finally saw it for what it was:
Disney Hunks' Uptown Funk
So, I had a decision last week...either I could do my taxes, or I could do a Disney-inspired Uptown Funk spoof. While you're racking your brain trying to guess which one I chose, you can... uh ... watch my Uptown Funk spoof!
Li Shang and Prince Phillip are so hot, they make Mushu and Maleficent want to retire, man!
Yeah, really stumped us there!
So, yeah, epic willpower fail on my part! I've been itching to do this mashup for weeks. You know you're a Disney blogger when you hear the line "make a dragon wanna retire, man" and your mind immediately goes to this:
Even More Eerie Similarities Between Fan Theorists and Anti-Vaxxers
Need to catch up? Check out the Table of Contents of the fan theories series!
#5: They get attached to the theory because it makes them part of a community.
This is another self-reinforcing aspect that makes theories of any kind particularly difficult to dislodge. As people get attached to theories, they also get attached to all the other people who believe in these theories. Believing in the theory then becomes a powerful marker of one's membership in a community of similar interests and values, and with that comes the significant social benefits of greater notice and promotion within a community (made all the more close-knit by marking those who do not believe as the out-group). Loudly supporting these shared beliefs and defending them becomes performative, to enhance one's status in the community and to reinforce social bonds. This also means that it's not enough to counter the theory with facts, because it's not just the facts that are convincing people, but a lot of social ...
Hey!
The Eerie Similarities Between Fan Theorists and Anti-Vaxxers
By way of some background: first I made a little costume analysis debunking the Frozen/Tangled fan theory, and in my last post I addressed some of the more tenacious fan theorists' rebuttals, with all of the grace and dignity a blogger can muster...
It's not often that my mood is equally well communicated by both The Little Mermaid and a possessed psychopath on a murderous rampage.
But, you know, I do have a blog to write, and I figured I ought to move on to other topical Disney-related news items, like that measles outbreak at Disneyland:
The happiest place on earth, if you happen to be an airborne virus with 90% infectivity, a decent surface-survival time, and permissive incubation phase.
On Correctly Dating Historical Fiction
I've noticed a lot of people responding to my Frozen/Tangled debunking with some variant of "But it must have taken place in at least 1790/1890/1828 because it has Mozart/tandem bicycles/cupcakes!" and I wanted to address how this approach to dating fictional works is misguided.
Quite simply, it is making the mistake of dating fiction the way you would date actual historical documents. In real life, any single item may provide a minimum date because that item would have to exist in the real world in order to appear. So, a historic photo with a single item from 100 years later than the rest of the material would definitively date it to at least the later time period (i.e., meaning it's a fake). However, the same does not hold true for fiction, because we already know it's a fake...that's what fiction means! In fiction, it is more correct to take the overall appearance of the work and the predominant themes of costume, architecture, technology, and trappings to set a time period that the author probably intended. Remember we're looking for *intent* here, rather than when something actually happened (if we're looking for items to definitively date something in reality, that's trivially easy: Tangled is from 2010 and Frozen is from 2013).
Debunking the Counter-Theory to the Previous Frozen/Tangled Debunking
I recently did a costume analysis for those stubborn Frozen/Tangled shippers,
By which I mean this literal ship.
And today I'd like to share some pretty sad and hilarious counter-arguments that I just can't leave un-mocked. One even went so far as to chide me for failing to properly account for Jane Porter's costumes in Tarzan since that link has apparently been confirmed:
...
...
"Hitler": Eddie Izzard meets the Hunchback of Notre Dame
What with their mutual fondness for murdering gypsies and conquering Paris, The Hunchback of Notre Dame's Frollo seems the perfect casting for Eddie Izzard's brilliant summary of the life and times of Adolf Hitler. Also with some cameo appearances from other notable mass murderers!
"Unattended Bag": Eddie Izzard meets Tangled
The cast of Tangled (2010) has a run-in with some incompetent security when they come across the ominous unattended bag from Eddie Izzard's reminiscences.
"Criminal Justice": Eddie Izzard meets Beauty and the Beast
The cast of Beauty and the Beast (1991) teaches us some valuable lessons about the criminal justice system and mass murderers, as described by Eddie Izzard.
"Beekeepers" Eddie Izzard meets Aladdin
The ambition and thievery of Aladdin (1992) brings Eddie Izzard's "Beekeepers" bit to life, as Aladdin finds out how difficult it is to flirt when covered in bees!
On the Measles Outbreak at Disneyland
For such a vapid C-lister, Jenny McCarthy has a really impressive body count. Seriously, this is not one of those "Oh, let's let everyone follow their own feelings" or "Mommy knows best" kind of things. Measles encephalitis is a horrible way to die. Even not quite dying of measles or pertussis or Haemophilus or good old-fashioned flu are still pretty damn miserable.
True fact, if you mention Jenny McCarthy's name in a conference full of pediatricians, you get this:
"Cake or Death?" Eddie Izzard meets Sleeping Beauty
Some good ol' Disney magic comes to Eddie Izzard's classic bit, "Cake or Death," as Church of England is taken over by Maleficent and the Good Fairies from Sleeping Beauty (1959). Perhaps they CAN have extreme points of view!
"Do You Have A Flag?" Eddie Izzard meets Pocahontas
Eddie Izzard gets a few visual aids for his classic bit "Do You Have A Flag?" with the help of the cast of Disney's "Pocahontas" (1995). Chances are this is actually more historically accurate than the original Disney film!
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