Confessions of A Disney Blogger


Whenever I say the word "Renaissance," I am about 100 times more likely to mean this:

than this:


When John Smith evasively tells Ratcliffe that he was "out scouting the terrain, sir..."

My brain goes straight to Monty Python and the Holy Grail and "She's got huuuuuge..."

"...tracts of land!"


The thought of Flounder successfully carrying a giant stone statue of Prince Eric into Ariel's grotto of human knickknacks...

...immediately makes me think of Eric Idle declaring "A five ounce bird cannot carry a one pound coconut!"

The Monty Python canon is sort of like the Disney canon, except with more absurdist political commentary.


I have spent more than three hours of my life trying to figure out which genetic disorder Quasimodo probably had:

I mean, how else can we account for his improbably good-looking parents?

And while we're on the subject, how exactly is Quasimodo white, let alone red-haired and green-eyed?


I have had prolonged internal debates with myself as to whether to include The Rescuers Down Under in discussions of the Disney Renaissance...


I have completely unironically referred to a self-established "Little Mermaid Standard" to evaluate whether a Disney movie deviates too much from its source material:

(image credit: natal_ee_a at DeviantArt)


I have gotten into heated arguments on the relative merits of stampeding wildebeest vs huns:

I'm team wildebeest, in case you were wondering.


I have put serious thought into what my "I want..." song should be about.

And right now the leading contender is "I want this state-of-the-art enormous graphics touchscreen that Glen Keane is using here to animate Tangled..." but I don't think that would fit well with an Alan Menken tune.

Hmmm...perhaps this would be a good time to mention my Patreon page, since that thing is damned expensive!

I like how it looks like Alice is facepalming at how shameless that plug was.


I have a special contempt for those who cannot figure out Cinderella's actual hair color:

That includes you, Disney Parks Costuming Department!


I am deeply horrified by the fact that to little kids seeing their first Disney movie in theaters today, The Little Mermaid is older to them than The Jungle Book was to me when I first saw The Little Mermaid...

I mean, for Mickey's sake, Walt was personally involved with that thing!

And that's not the only horrifying fact for those of us who came of cinematic age during the Disney Renaissance!

(image credit xkcd...)

1 comment:

  1. That XKCD is 4 years old!
    As for Quasimodo's colouring, dark hair and eyes are dominant to light ones, so it's not impossible. White-passing children do sometimes pop up in Romani families; there was a case a few years ago where the cops thought a couple must have kidnapped a kid that DNA testing proved was theirs.


About the Author

Satiricalifragilistic grew up during the Disney Renaissance, and The Little Mermaid was the first movie she ever saw in theaters at age 3. Her mother flatly refused to let her leave the theater when Ursula got huge and terrifying, and maybe that explains her troubled psyche.

While she'll admit to being an inveterate nitpicker, she firmly believes in loving a piece of art even while criticizing it, and in the importance of engaging critically with what she loves. She has special contempt for anyone who tries to claim the politics in Disney films don't matter because "they're just movies," because she knows exactly how much the Disney Canon influenced her little gradeschool self—for good and for ill!

She loves art, design, music, dancing, movies from Hollywood's Golden Age, and British comedy...expect a lot of these to turn up in her reviews and mashups!