When Disney Characters Find Themselves In A Safe-Sex and Anti-Drug PSA...

Pocahontas chasing a waterfall.

So, I think this may be the most tasteless thing I've ever done, and considering my single most popular tumblr post suggests Gaston gets together with a 7-year-old girl, that's saying something:

When I mentioned the idea for this mashup to my loyal peanut gallery, Dad said

"If only Disney had explicitly explored the tobacco industry side of the colonization of the Americas."

...and my little sister said

"But instead of AIDS, it's smallpox?"

The snark is strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. And, my sister has it...

If you have that power too, I hope you'll like it!

I often think of these mashups as our beloved Disney characters "performing" a new bit. With this one, I think of the distinguished cast showing up like

Pocahontas looking confused

"Wait, I thought we were preaching about environmentalism and racial tolerance?"

Nakoma losing patience

"No, that's sooo last week! Now we're preaching against drug dealing and unprotected sex."

Pocahontas shrugging

"Okay, fine. Whatever."

On a somewhat related note, generally my mashups fall into one of two categories. Either the comedy comes from picking a bit where the content of the non-Disney component has eerily similar themes to the source material, like so:

...or it comes from the non-Disney component having such a radically different theme that the implications of the mashup veers into absurdity. For instance:

This one, on the surface of it, seems to fall into that second category (apart, of course, from the obvious fact that Pocahontas quite literally chases waterfalls!). I mean, we're implying here that Thomas is a drug dealer, John Smith gets HIV from Pocahontas, Kokoum falls in with a street gang, and Ratcliffe is a coke fiend. However, the more I worked on this I came to notice that "Waterfalls" really captures an inadvertent message of Pocahontas. I know they intended this to be a "follow your heart!" type of story, but since everyone in it ends up dead, critically injured, heartbroken, alone, and/or impoverished, in a twisted kind of way it actually vindicates Nakoma's pessimism and overabundance of caution, without really realizing it's doing it. But then again I could go on for ages about the things Disney didn't realize about the story it was telling in Pocahontas (oh, wait...I already have).

And, as another little bit of trivia, both the movie and the song came out in 1995, so they seem to be made for each other.

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About the Author

Satiricalifragilistic grew up during the Disney Renaissance, and The Little Mermaid was the first movie she ever saw in theaters at age 3. Her mother flatly refused to let her leave the theater when Ursula got huge and terrifying, and maybe that explains her troubled psyche.

While she'll admit to being an inveterate nitpicker, she firmly believes in loving a piece of art even while criticizing it, and in the importance of engaging critically with what she loves. She has special contempt for anyone who tries to claim the politics in Disney films don't matter because "they're just movies," because she knows exactly how much the Disney Canon influenced her little gradeschool self—for good and for ill!

She loves art, design, music, dancing, movies from Hollywood's Golden Age, and British comedy...expect a lot of these to turn up in her reviews and mashups!